


Survivor

by its_pronounced_wiener_slave



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood and Gore, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 20:26:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7728622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_pronounced_wiener_slave/pseuds/its_pronounced_wiener_slave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He sees Erwin more often in his sleep than he ever had in the waking world.</p><p>(Post the events of chapter 84)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Survivor

The nightmares. He sees Erwin more often in his sleep than he ever had in the waking world. Like clockwork since that day, actually. He wrote it off at first.

At first.

The night after it happened was oddly calm, though cold, and the one candle he left alight in his small corner of the barracks was barely enough to read by. He should have blown it out hours ago. His lids are heavy and his eyes glazed.

Avoiding sleep.

Sleep he knows he should get because this fucking mess is only going further south.

_You could have told me more, old man._

His thoughts are interrupted by what seems like quiet sobbing. Where? Sounds close. _That can’t be. No one followed me here._ Levi decides to investigate the sound. The voice…he’s heard it before. It’s speaking through muffled cries. Down the hall?

The room is dark. Almost pitch black. Levi towers over a crumpled man, nude and soaked in something. It smells awful.

Blood.

Smells like death. Erwin raises his head, blonde hair caked with blood. Levi’s eyes widen. He can’t seem to speak. Erwin is sitting in a fetal position, softly crying, mumbling something. What is he mumbling? Levi can’t focus. Something about Erwin’s face is horrifying. Levi is so unsettled, his skin is crawling. Erwin is drenched in blood. It seems like it’s coming out of his eyes and nose, and when he mumbles it bubbles from his gurgling mouth. Levi is disgusted. He wants to run, to get away from whatever this is that he’s seeing. But this is Erwin.

No, Erwin is—

He suddenly stretches both hands up towards Levi. Blood is dripping from them; coagulated between his fingers and drying under his fingernails. Levi shudders. There’s something in his hands. It’s dark, too dark to see. Is it moving? Erwin isn’t crying anymore. Levi doesn’t want to see and yet he’s craning his neck towards that something in Erwin’s cursed, stained hands.  A sound? A thumping. No. A beating.

_His heart._

Levi screams until he realizes he’s awake now, the candle having burned out long before. He’s still in the barracks. No one seems to have heard him.

_I’ll just wait till dawn._

****

 

Hange is humming some familiar tune as they look over the gear and blades. Strange. Where has he heard it before? From childhood or maybe…

Not like it fucking matters.

How many days has it been now? Seems like an eternity. _Every day in this shithole is an eternity without you here to guide us._

How can he be expected to lead whatever is left of this…rabble? He can’t bring himself to face the kids so he feigns preoccupation. Armin still isn’t even conscious. What if he dies?

_Fuck. What if he dies?_

Can’t. There’s a job to do and he’s going to need both of those idiot kids if there’s any hope left. His body is broken, though. Spirit even more so. He’s given up on talking to Hange about it.

_If my body breaks, if it fails and I die, I can at least apologize to him._

_****_

Erwin’s face is twisted and grotesque, and his eyes clouded and hazy. Blind? Or is he dead? He bears his teeth like an animal, hissing all the while. Levi is transfixed. Erwin’s breath is impossibly hot, it burns. Why does it burn? Levi’s body is paralyzed, unmoving and naked. Terror rattles through him as Erwin bears down into Levi’s neck, rending flesh and muscle, groaning and gnashing. He can feel the warmth of his own blood spurt against his cheek; feel it run in thick rivulets down his own chest. Levi is screaming out his name, gasping in shock as the sound of his clavicle snapping rings in his ears. The pain is too great. _This is what I deserve,_ he thinks. _This is what I deser—_

Pounding at the door wakes him up with a start. _The fuck did I sleep this late?_ More pounding. It’s Hange; one of the brats is missing. _Fucking hell._

_Should have died when I had the chance._

 

****

 

These kids will be the death of him. Yeager ran off and Armin still won’t wake. So hard to care. Mikasa struck out to find Eren on her own and Hange gave chase. Springer and Kirstein seem to think he’ll be back. Levi is pretty sure he’s just throwing a fit. He certainly can’t afford to split from the group now.

 No luck today. Maybe tomorrow. _Doesn’t that idiot know what’s at stake?_

_****_

This time Levi falls asleep without even trying to fight it. He’s getting so tired of fighting.

_Even if he’s tearing me apart, at least he’s there._

Erwin looks normal. Too normal. Both arms, Levi notes. Both arms around him. He’s speaking to Levi in hushed tones. The breath on his neck is intoxicating. Erwin smells of lavender and life and his eyes are brighter than Levi ever thought possible. He presses his mouth into Levi’s neck, his jawline, his chin. Their lips meet and Erwin slides his tongue into Levi’s mouth. Like satin. Something is coming over him. He doesn’t stop Erwin as he lifts Levi effortlessly, pressing him against a wall and hoisting his legs up and around his waist. Levi’s head is spinning. He can barely comprehend the praise and cooing wafting from Erwin’s lips like a heady perfume. He can feel Erwin, taut and pressing against him. He’s ashamed by how much he wants this. The shame mixes with his lust in a way that makes him uneasy. Erwin presses into him, hot and full and lovely, making love to Levi and kissing him, talking and kissing, praising and kissing, loving and fucking him. Levi has never felt more enthralled. He’s never felt more crippled and crushed by despair. He sobs as guilt wracks his body. Erwin is still kissing and comforting him. With a shudder he comes, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks. _This is what I deserve._ The pain is too great.

_This is what I deserve._

 

 


End file.
